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Ft. Wayne Journal Gazette Family ritual … at the mall By Sherry Slater The winter blahs. The inspiration for the McGann family’s annual retail reunion was a desire to find an antidote for the winter blahs. Christmas 1991 was winding down, and the womenfolk were talking – with little enthusiasm – about the long, cold, dark months ahead. They badly needed something to look forward to. So the sisters hatched a plan for a late-winter shopping trip to a neutral spot between their homes in Mishawaka, Indianapolis and northwest Ohio. Their chosen destination: Glenbrook Square. About this time, for the past 15 years, between five and 15 of the women have descended on the Fort Wayne mall for a day of fun, food and family. After hours of shopping, they spend the night in a local hotel, showing off both bargains and indulgences as they devour delivery pizza and sacks of snacks. The grown-ups sip some wine as well … usually while maintaining a degree of decorum. Usually. This year’s motto: What happens in Fort Wayne, stays in Fort Wayne. Ready, set, shop! The greater McGann clan was almost giddy as it congregated at Glenbrook two Saturdays ago. They arrived promptly at 10 a.m., just when the smaller stores were sliding open their metal gates, traveling from far-flung destinations that included Texas, Florida and Virginia. Hugs and smiles were passed around, but make no mistake: These women are serious about their shopping. They quickly stowed their bulky winter coats in lockers, exchanged cell phone numbers and opened their flower-covered, rolling shopping bags, a gift years ago from one sister. As soon as everyone arrived, they agreed to meet for lunch at 12:30 in the food court and split into smaller groups of two or three or four. Six of the family members brought friends along for the shopping spree. I was one of those invited friends. I’ve known Beth Beyke, a McGann by birth, for more than 20 years. My first husband was the best man in her wedding. Her husband was the best man in our wedding. My marriage lost its oomph after 16 years, but the friendship is still going strong. Beth lives in Indianapolis with her husband, Bob, and their two teenage daughters. The shopping weekend was born when Jillian was 2 and Rachel was an infant. A harried mom who needed a break, Beth established 10 as the minimum age for participants. So, for the first several years, her weekend away was Bob’s two-day opportunity to be a full-time dad. Beth said the idea for the all-female field trip was: “We could shop all day and play all night, then go home and be regular people.” Bonding over bargains Daniel Butler, the Washington-based National Retail Federation’s vice president of merchandising and retail operations, said the idea of a retail reunion isn’t as unusual as it might sound. “Shopping can certainly be a social experience for people instead of something we just do” because we need to, he said. “For some people, it can become a traditional experience.” Popular times for family shopping traditions are the weekend after Thanksgiving and Mother’s Day weekend, Butler said. Stacey Szluka, spokeswoman for the New York-based International Council of Shopping Centers, said many women bond by shopping. Andrew Buckser, an associate professor of anthropology on Purdue University’s West Lafayette campus, said he’s inclined to view the annual shopping spree as a ritual. And rituals, he stressed, can be exuberant and fun as often as they are solemn and stately. When anthropologists talk about rituals, they look at statements those rituals make about how the participants see themselves and how they want to portray themselves to others. By choosing a mall, the women have staked out a territory that is traditionally a female domain. Being consumers is a shared experience in American society. Sharing what we buy is a way of communicating their personalities and priorities, Buckser said. “So it’s almost a language that everybody speaks,” he said. Each year, the shopping trip takes on its own unique flavor as the women mark an upcoming milestone. One year it was one sister’s 50th birthday. Another year, it was Valentine’s Day, so everyone wore red or pink. This year will bring a family wedding. Emily Kohart, Beth’s niece, was just 10 when she tagged along on that first shopping trip. But this year the 25-year-old bride-to-be was the center of attention. Her family conspired to fly in Emily’s sister, Kelly, who lives in Jacksonville, Fla., and bring along bridesmaid Jamie Iceman, who lives in Tallmadge, Ohio, as surprises. Emily, a probation officer who lives in Manassas, Va., doesn’t see them often. The designated color was pink this year, a nod to Emily’s wedding colors. And the family surprised her with a bridal shower – complete with cupcakes and a pink-and-white feather boa for the bride – in the evening. Purdue’s Buckser said that by celebrating each other’s milestones in such a public way, the McGanns are acknowledging each other in an important way. It’s evidence, he said, that they are “a very strong family.” While she was shopping, Emily had to wear a specially made, heart-shaped pin that read: I’m getting married in 133 days. Throughout the day, Beth and I crossed paths at Glenbrook with Emily and her entourage. More times than not, they were looking through racks and racks of lingerie. Generations of fun Irene McGann, the 76-year-old family matriarch, was able to come along this year. Her shopping list included a new purse and CDs by Christian singer Amy Grant and Canadian crooner Michael Buble. “I am so looking forward to it,” Irene said the day before the trip. She’s missed the last five years because she hasn’t wanted to leave her 81-year-old husband, who has some health problems, alone overnight. This year, Beth’s husband, Bob, drove up to Mishawaka to keep him company. Her fondest memory is from the year when her sister came along and the two of them went from store to store, trying on hats. Irene, the mother of six girls and one boy, doesn’t wear hats in daily life. But it was sure fun to try them on, she said. The senior citizen sisters also ordered “the biggest, gooiest chocolate sundaes you can imagine” for their afternoon snack. In 2000, Irene found the ensemble that she wore to the 50th wedding anniversary party her children hosted in June. “It was exactly what I was looking for,” she said of the beige suit. Smaller malls in the Mishawaka area, where the couple live, didn’t carry anything comparable, she said. But finding such elusive treasures isn’t the only point of the annual shopping trip. The women want to spend time together. Granted, the McGanns often gather in the summer for a reunion. But during the hectic holidays of Christmas and New Year’s, not everyone makes it to visit Mom and Dad in Mishawaka at the same time. And this close-knit clan can’t survive on just once-a-year. Patty Power, the 50-year-old sister who flew in from Texas, didn’t make it home for Christmas. So she decided to extend the weekend shopping trip into a weeklong visit this year. Her shopping list included a purple outfit to wear to meetings of a Red Hat Society group she joined recently. “Those ladies know how to have fun,” much like her family members, Patty said. When snow threatened to fall on the McGann family’s designated shopping day one year, the sisters with the longest drives set out a day early and spent an extra night in a hotel. The women didn’t even consider canceling the outing, said Beth, who wore a T-shirt with the saying: “Shop like you mean it.” Years of tradition Over the years, the winter outing has evolved a complex set of traditions that guide everything from what mottos the women use to what the women aren’t allowed to talk about. “We can share shopping lists ahead of time, but we can’t show what we bought unless you’re with us when we buy it,” Beth said. “We have a supersecret shopaholics meeting when we got back to the hotel” and show off the day’s purchases. This year’s session lasted about three hours. Some items are built up as being great bargains. In fact, the woman who gets the best bargain of the day wins an award. Other acquisitions aren’t cheap but appeal to the shopper on a more emotional level. Those items fall into the McGann-coined category: I saw it. I liked it. I bought it. As the items are unveiled, unexpected themes often emerge. This year
it was shoes. It was during one of those annual “business meetings,” as mom Irene calls them, two of the women made a serious breach of etiquette. Their faux pas has become legendary. “My two oldest sisters started sipping the wine a little too early and started getting a little out of control,” Ginny McGann said. That loss of control caused them to interrupt the other women as they were presenting their shopping triumphs to the group – a definite no-no. “We had to chastise them,” she said. Maybe the ultimate punishment is the reputation the women have gained in the family. When one of Beth’s daughters invited a girlfriend to come along to a family gathering, the friend asked: “Will your drunk aunt be there?” But every year … eventually … the party dies down. Sort of. Patty, the sister who lives in Texas, loves catching up with her family. One thing she doesn’t count on, however, is getting a lot of rest in the Fort Wayne hotel. “When the lights turn off, that’s when the giggling starts,” she said. “Ginny and Beth start giggling, and then the rest of us join in. We wonder if we’ll get any sleep.” In Wednesday’s mail I received photographic evidence that they survived the night. Ginny sent me a copy of the group picture they snapped on Sunday morning – another McGann family tradition. I think the Purdue anthropology professor would approve.
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