September 1, 2004

Teens more likely to hear the adults who are involved in their lives

Adults spend too much time talking about teenagers and not nearly enough time doing things with them, says a Purdue University youth violence expert.

"The start of the school year is the time for parents to strengthen lines of communication with teens and their teachers," says J. William (Jack) Spencer, a professor of sociology. "If you are a parent, ask your teens about their teachers, classes and how their day went. Then take the next step to get to know their teachers and look for new ways to be a part of their lives. Volunteer in their classroom, sit down and look at homework together or make time for an activity, such as going for walks or even eating a meal together."

Spencer also suggests using teachable moments. For example, when parents watch television with their children, they should discuss with children about characters on a show might have used non-violent ways to resolve a dispute, or talk about the dangers of unprotected sex.

"Most importantly, parents and school personnel should ask teen-agers if they or their friends are having problems," Spencer says. "However, this can be hard to do, because teenagers often react to these kinds of questions as if the adult is prying. Sometimes we are, but if adults ask frequently and in ways that exhibit a sincere interest, teenagers will appreciate that interest – especially if we share what's going on in our own lives."

CONTACT: Spencer, (765) 494-4677, spencer@soc.purdue.edu

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